Over a year since the break-up of my marriage, I am content in my own company and my happiness is no longer dependent on being connected with another. This does not mean I do not want another relationship but simply I do not ‘need’ it to feel fulfilled.
However, I cannot deny there are walls in the way of me seeking out a mate. I am in a much better place mentally and emotionally than I have been in years and I suppose I worry that another relationship could put that at risk again. My happiness right now is more important than a potential bond. It does not mean that do not want to love again, simply that I am just not ready yet.
I wrote this poem as way to explore and reflect these emotions.
I Want to Love
I want to love.
I want to feel breathless
After the release of a kiss.
I want to feel fingers
Send my skin electric.
I want to love.
I want to feel the grip
Of hands lusting for me.
I want to feel the heart
Of another beat against my chest.
I want to love.
I want to feel the tangle
Of limbs under sheets.
I want to feel the fire
Between us, as our bodies meet.
I want to love, I want to feel, I want to feel love.