I Want to Love

An Abstract painting of swoops and curves of acrylic paint.  The bottom is dark red, then blending to lighter red, orange and then a small arc of yellow at the very top centre.

Abstract Painting in acrylics by Mikaela Walker

Over a year since the break-up of my marriage, I am content in my own company and my happiness is no longer dependent on being connected with another.  This does not mean I do not want another relationship but simply I do not ‘need’ it to feel fulfilled.
However, I cannot deny there are walls in the way of me seeking out a mate.  I am in a much better place mentally and emotionally than I have been in years and I suppose I worry that another relationship could put that at risk again.  My happiness right now is more important than a potential bond.  It does not mean that do not want to love again, simply that I am just not ready yet.
I wrote this poem as way to explore and reflect these emotions.

I Want to Love

I want to love. 
I want to feel breathless
After the release of a kiss.
I want to feel fingers
Send my skin electric.

I want to love.
I want to feel the grip
Of hands lusting for me.
I want to feel the heart
Of another beat against my chest.

I want to love.
I want to feel the tangle
Of limbs under sheets.
I want to feel the fire
Between us, as our bodies meet.

I want to love,  I want to feel,  I want to feel love.

Published by kaelawalker

30-something aspiring writer on the West Coast of Scotland. Inspired by nature, beautiful Scotland and my journey coping with physical and mental illness.

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