Last Christmas

Presents were stacked under the tree in neat little piles. Each one was wrapped perfectly, adorned with glistening gold bows and vibrant red ribbon. Baubles in an array of shapes, sizes and colour hung above them and seemed to dance as the lights flashed on and off.
Evelyn glanced down at her hands, the knuckles painfully swollen and fingers permanently curled into a fist. She hadn’t wrapped the gifts or decorated the tree this year. She wasn’t sure who had. She had just woken up one morning to find the living room full of all the usual festive embellishments. It was as though the elves had worked whilst she slept.
Around the room people chatted, holding paper plates topped with food or cups filled with fizz. Their faces were indistinct blurs from where she sat in spite of the thick glasses perched on her nose. A plate sat on the arm of her chair holding a small selection of sausage rolls, tiny quiches, and sandwiches with vague fillings. Evelyn left it where it was.
She shifted under the red tartan blanket across her lap, her bones ached even in the comfort of the deeply cushioned seat she sat in. A grimace must have passed over her face for the woman beside her reached out, placing a warm hand on Evelyn’s skinny arm.
“Are you okay?” the woman asked, eyes crinkling with concern.
With a couple of nods, Evelyn lied to her. She turned her head away, back to the Christmas tree, feeling uneasy being the focus of a stranger’s attention. After a silent pause, she heard the woman strike up conversation once again with the man next to her.
Evelyn concentrated on the lights, they had changed rhythm, quickly switching on and off. As they flickered intermittently, so did images across Evelyn’s mind. Children rushing to the tree as they saw the presents underneath it. A girl giggling as she held up a jumper, three sizes too big for her. The same girl cuddling a yellow bunny, whilst swamped in the overgrown knitwear. A boy shouting excitedly as he ripped off wrapping. The laughter as he tried to steer a remote control car but crashed into a mound of paper. Their broad smiles and red cheeks. Their crushing hugs, their kisses on each side of her face and their ‘thank you’s in her ear.
Evelyn could almost feel the warmth of their embraces again. She realised she was smiling herself and for the first time in a long while her heart felt light. She looked to the woman on her right, whose chair sat so close to her own.
“Julie love,” Evelyn said, making the woman look round sharply. “Aren’t you glad I don’t knit anymore?” she chuckled, a gleaming glint in her eyes.
The woman took a moment to reply. “Oh I dunno mum, I kinda loved those awful jumpers. They were as much a tradition as the overdone turkey.”
“My turkey was sublime.” Evelyn replied, remembering how she always left it in the oven too long. Every year she was distracted by the children’s excitement and playing.
“Of course it was, mum.” Julie agreed with a smirk on her face.
“Where’s our Brian?” Evelyn asked looking round the room.
Her daughter frowned before answering. “He’s at work. He said he would try to come but I guess he couldn’t get time off.” She finished with a sigh.
“Always busy your brother.” Evelyn clucked her tongue. “I’m proud of how hard he works but he needs to have fun too. I’m very proud of both of you.” She stared with sincerity at her daughter, hoping she knew it was more than kind words.
Julie’s hand gripped her mother’s arm gently as she leaned in and kissed the old woman on her soft, wrinkled cheek. “Merry Christmas, mum.” She said tenderly in Evelyn’s ear. “I love you so much.”
“Love you too and Merry Christmas.” Evelyn replied. She noticed her daughter’s eyes sparkling with tears and wiped one away with back of one crooked finger. “What you getting all soft for?”
“Just happy I guess, mum. I got what I wished for this Christmas.”
Evelyn didn’t quite understand her daughter’s response but didn’t ask her to explain. Something in the back of her mind told her it was best not to. To just let the moment be. All of sudden she felt tired. Her eyelids became a struggle to keep open and she stifled a yawn.
“Don’t worry about us, mum. You just rest.” Julie said, lightly squeezing her mother’s arm.
Evelyn nodded again and looked back drowsily to the tree. The lights had once more changed their pattern. This time each one was slowly fading until they went out completely with one last quick flash. She sat transfixed, watching in-between the heavy sweeps of her eyelids until every last one went dark.
When she lifted her gaze away she noticed the woman sat next to her was holding her hand. She felt too tired to pull her own away and she could tell by the woman’s shining eyes that she could do with the comfort of another’s touch. It would do no harm to give it to her.
Evelyn glanced round the room, searching for her children. They must be out playing in the snow, she thought to herself. She could almost hear their laughter coming in through the window. She imagined their sweet smiles, their warm hugs and closed her eyes.